Monday, 31 August 2009
I popped up to Marie Curie to browse at the books and Gill asked me to mind the shop whilst she nipped to the lavatory as she didn't have any staff working. She was uber busy and I didn't have much else to do so I stayed and helped out in the shop until Gill closed at about 3.30. She usually keeps it open til about 4.30 or five but it was a bank holiday today and she fanciedd heading home.
So, what do you wanna know?
If any one can be bothered to leave a comment, I promise to answer any question you ask absolutely honestly. One per person :D
I bet I still won't get any comments!! Well, I won't bet...I'm not all that keen on gambling to be honest with you guys and all.
Anyhoooooooo, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow; towning with folk and what-not before we head back to TheLandOfNod.
Sorry about this post...I'm not really feeling it today...how arty did that make me sound, eh? "not feeling it" ooooh yeah.
Peace and love
Sunday, 30 August 2009
I'm a learned lady with an insatiable thrist for the knowledge I cleave from such entries and I'm really missing them!
Please fulfill my life. I beg of you, post something.
I've just finished watching, "Becoming Jane" starring Anne Hathaway and James McAvoy and it's lovely but oh so sad. Tom and Jane are desperately in love but they can't be together. It's heartbreaking.
The acting was fabulous though. They were good friends but still...shame.
Looking forward to Tuesday
Peace and love
Saturday, 29 August 2009
And, as you must have gathered, I'm now utterly IN LOVE with Napoleon. That's write, not the actor, the character! I love his sexy oversized glasses and the way he runs and how he tucks his random t-shirts into his jeans and how he drinks milk and how he dances *SEXY* and the way he speaks; "Hey tina, eat the food. Eat the food!" I recommend this film to EVERYONE! It was completely stupid but I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed so much and I've now found myself another gexy *geeky and sexy* bloke to drool over...I swear that if my list wasn't lying in Caroline's bin...in ashes...then his name would be scrolled right across the top of it in capitals like this:
And all over each and everyone one of my new school exercise books I'm going to scribble KT4ND and Mrs. Dynamite...that actually sounds quite cool...hmmm, a deed-poll name change may be upon the horizon...Kaytei Dynamite! mwahahahahaha
OMGosh, AND he can ride a horse! And he has amazing taste in clothes; the suit which he wore to the school dance was EPIC! I'm so jealous of Deb *the girl who Napoleon likes*
Do you know who else I'm jealous of? Sandra Bullock.
Not only is she living my dream of being a mega-amazing actress but as anyone whose seen "Two Weeks Notice" will agree with, the way that Hugh Grant kissed her at the end of the film was amazing!! Why can't a boy kiss me like that?!
...I'm not that shallow dw...and just so as everyone's clear I don't want to be kissed in that way by Hugh Grant *his teeth annoy me and he's far too old for me* i'm just saying that being kissed like that by the boy I like might be nice...that's all...
well, i'm all embarrassed now :S
Peace and love
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Through my hair, drenching my clothes. In my mouth. Blood.
An undulating wave gives over and once again my head's in the open in the open. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Each breath I take is heavily anointed with the stale odour of festering flesh. If my lungs could bear it I would scream but their exhaustion allows me only to release tiny, whimpering sobs into the blackness. Endless blackness.
I don't know how long it's been, or how I got here. I just remember waking up. I fell through an eternity of night. Terrified cries for help combined with my own shrieking painted bleak images of torture onto the black within which I was now entangled. Plunged into this...filthy, fetid, dying.
I don't know how big this place is. Just that I'm here. And I'm alone.
"Don't say that...Joe, you know you're not alone...I'm here." A sing-song voice that I know all too well has joined me.
"You're NOT. You aren't real. I don't believe you." I'm trying to convince myself more than her.
"Joe, you're upsetting me, your Mummy dear's already pushed me out but you won't do that, will you Joe, you love me, don't you?" Every note of her melodic tone is dripping with venom.
Silence prevails. Even the screams deserted me. Within the darkness and between the beats of my own heart Time had arrived. She isn't supposed to be here. Mum paid the shrink to talk to me years ago to make her go away. She still won't let me be.
"Why are you here, Time?"
"...You promised that you would hold onto me Joe. YOU PROMISED. One session with that, that bitch and you began to ignore me. You broke your promise Joe."
"I was eight years old. I was the only kid in school that wasn't allowed to take part in Drama. They said that the pretence might upset me and that was YOUR fault. I was the only one who had be taken out from classes to have little , "chats" with a fucking shrink and that was your bloody fault too. You said you'd look after me and you ran around me. You raced past me, you made everything change. This, " I swing my arms around, gesturing to the stillness which I don't even know if Time can see "THIS is your fault. I'm seventeen, I should be worrying about girls liking me and getting essays into school on time and instead I'm stuck, trapped in a fucking limbo that I don't even know is real."
Another silence reclines between is, stretching itself regally; relaxing despite the tense two surrounding it. A silence punctuated only by quick, sharp intakes of breath...is she...crying?
"I'm sorry." The mutter working it's way through my lips takes me by surprise and I struggle to recognise it at first.
"That's alright Joe." The crying stops and I can feel her presence draped around me. She may be trying to comfort me but all I can feel is Time's great weight pushing me further beneath the surface.
In another strangled moan which I struggle to believe to be my own I utter, "Time. Don't leave me now. I can't bear to be alone. I need you Time. I don't want to die."
"That's all I needed to hear Joe. I'll be with you forever, because you love me, don't you Joe."
Entranced and mystified by her warm breath on my neck, her hair brushing against my cheek, her intoxicated poison seeping through her words, just one word comes into my mind,
I'm in bed. Blearily, I raise my eyes to the clock upon my bedroom wall, 4.18 am. I hold my hand in front of my face. Clean, milky-white...no blood and damp only from the cool sweat in which I'm lying. Gingerly, I run my tongue across my lips. Dry, salty, chapped. Not sticky from blood. I run my hand through my hair. Warm, tacky, I bring it before my eyes...a bright orange-red.
"Mum!" I yell simply because I don't know what else I can do.
Hurried footsteps upon the landing followed by a call of concern and Mum's in my room.
"Joe, what's happened?"
I hold my hand out to her, she goes to take it in her own but pull it away, not wanting her to feel the blood but she doesn't seem shocked by the sight.
"Joe, sweetie, what's wrong?"
"MUM! There's blood all over my hand and through my hair."
"Joe...there's nothing there."
I know that it's nasty but I still hope you enjoyed that! It's certainly something different to write from "Running To..." that's for sure xD
Dunno how good it is and i'm awful at proof-reading so there are proabably some terrible grammar and spelling issues...sorry :S
Anyways, I'll write more when the need arises and inspiration is the wind beneath my wings and all that jazz :D
Peace and love
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Anyways, as most of my followers are guys, you will be unaware of horror, the absolutely nightmarish task of shaving one's legs. When you get to the age at which you need to shave your lovely lil faces, just imagine that on two whole legs!! It takes forever!! So, I bought some of that Nair hair removal cream stuff and after threatening my brother *be quiet or I'll put it all over your head!* I did a test patch as recommended. I was kinda chilly when I got up this morning so I wore jeans and didn't fancy rolling them up to do a patch on my ankle or summat so I smoothed some of the cream on my arm and left it for the recomended five minutes.
I now have a baldy patch on my arm O.o *hazzaaaaar*
I was watching a video from wvsam on youtube *so funny, definitely check him out!* and in the background he was playing, "One day like this" by Elbow and I thought, "hey, that's actually kinda cool..." so I looked up some more of their music and then downloaded the album, "The seldom seen kid" LOVING IT!! I heard of them a while ago from my brother Ange but he's mainly into death metal and the likes so I assumed that Elbow wouldn't be any different...I was wrong, I hang my head in shame :S
I got some great prints today, I'm gonna find somewhere on my wall for them later...they're on beige, brown and duck-egg-blue suede and they're just random embroidery squiggles but I'm really quite keen on them.
Thank you again to everyone who offered a sweet word to me :) and sorry for acting the way i did :(
Peace and love
Monday, 24 August 2009
As some of you are already aware, I'm engaged to one Miss ElinimoomundootocomSqueechTheGodOfCapriSun *although I still loathe the length of that nick-name* And our wedding shall be held at Lunchtime on our return to TheLandOfNod upon September 3rd and everyone's welcome. Master PCPlod *...wasn't PC Plod the policeman from Noddy btw?...* shall be my best man as I'm posing as Groom, Hattiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee shall be my fiancé's maid of honour and TheOneWhoCan'tBeBotheredToPostAnymore *cough* TOMMY*cough* shall be playing the role of Vicar and will be marrying the two of us...we still have yet to decide upon whose name we shall be taking and may just take the name of her cat so we shall be Elin and Kaytei Polly xD
THAT WAS IT, THE BIG NEWS!!
You may remember not so long ago that I was having rather a great deal of trouble locating a decent pair of shoes for school, however, the search is finally over and I'm fairly pleased although this appreciation towards said shoes may end when I actually get around to wearing them as I have yet to actually walk in them. I tried them on but I didn't run around the shop or anything *Debenhams by some bloke called Roberto Vianni or summat*. No doubt, I shall be in great pain walking to and from school in them *hrumph* -_-'
It recently came to my attention that The Catcher in The Rycroft was rather afraid for my safety...sorry James darling...my last post was a little hasty and irrational, wasm't it? Some crud happened and I wasn't feeling great *no S**t!* but i'm a whole lot happier now. So, to everyone else, to whom I gave a reason to feel concerned about me; I'm really sorry. I was once described as, "hyper-emotional" and though I wouldn't entirely agree with this, I am over sensitive and wear my heart on my sleeve and often react in the teenage drama queen, "the end is nigh" kind of way. So thank you for the support but honestly, I'm alright now!
Take care everyone!
Peace and love
Friday, 21 August 2009
Then my Dad called me to say that Lee Mack was on telly. He's one of my favourite comedians and so I watched him, with my family. Things didn't seem so bad.
I went up to bed.
Cried myself to sleep.
Dreamt of you.
Holding my hand.
I asked you a question.
I can't remember what you said.
disappoint you. I am not like you. incorrect things. forgive yourself. It is your fault and maybe a time shall come . feel weighed down. try to blame yourself. I repeat a past point: it is your fault, and the time may come. I do so hope you are depressed to the deepest depths.
PS. I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning, eyes stinging, a lump still in my throat. I felt better though. If it hadn't been for my family last night...well it doesn't bare thinking about. It was stupid and as per the gosh darned usual I over reacted like the Drama Queen I am. It's not like it was much of a surprise anyway.
I'm kind of proud of myself. I got through it without anyone. I didn't send any irrational emails or call anyone up and scream down the phone at them. i didn't even write a word of it in my diary.
I'm feeling better but it still hurts like hell. That hanful of pills I mentioned earlier...I don't think I ever really mean to, I just wanted something to take away the pain.
Thank you though, I don't even know whether you'll ever see this but in case you do. Thank you. Honestly.
Thursday, 20 August 2009
The thing is.
One moment my parents are absolutely convinced that I'm an eighty year old woman the next thing, I'm four years old...I'm of course, obviously, describing the trials and tribulations of shoe-shopping. I hate shopping. There, I've said it. Browsing around shops, trundle-wundling along without a care in the world is simply marvelous but this is not the case when I actually need something. I'm now so sick of wearing shoes that I'm dangerously close to CHUCKING mine away...or giving them to charity...whatever. Although the prior made more of an impact really, didn't it? Thought as much. Anyhoooooooooooooooooooooooooo, my feet annoy me. My right one's just a tidbit smaller than my left one and the size of them vary from shop to shop, in some I'm a four, others I'm a six and when stores don't offer half-sizes I swear it's sacrilege.
So tired of shoes.
On a brighter note, I have new socks xD They're only boring ones for school but it means that for five whole days, I'm going to have that awesome, "i'm-wearing-new-socks-and-loving-it" feeling...or am i the only one who gets that? You know when you put on a brand new pair of socks and the cool, soft cotton seems to embrace the curves of the warm flesh of your feet...perhaps I'm going a little over the top here...
AND I've finally, finally, finally got a case for my glasses *hazaar and all the world can breathe easy*
OOOOoooooooooooooooh, I know that this was announced a while ago but Blue are reforming and I lovd their music so, so much when I was younger that I'm actually really rather excited about the news of their imminent return to the charts.
OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh and another musical return which has generated much media discussion is that of Robbie Williams. Since his last album, "Rudebox" quite frankly SUCKED despite having a number one single; there's a lot resting on his return. We expect to see him back on form with classic ballads...*think Angels, Feel and all that kinda thing* when his new album is released in October.
'tis ready to be varnished, *hazaaaar* The paint is finally, finally, finally dry so now it is able to be varnished...I just hope my Dad leaves me to it, I can't stand it when he interferes all the time :S
DollyDot Signing out.
Peace and love
p.s TWO people have stopped following me?! Gosh you guys are fickle, ain't ya?! tbh...I've kinda stopped caring...he never followed me anyway...it was just him i wanted and he still won't. he won't even hug me.
argh, now i'm getting all stupid and down, that's it, FORGET, FORGET, FORGET just STOP thinking about him...but it's not that easy is it?
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Shall I opt for a witty yet confusion and possibly confusing title for this particular post or shall I simply say, "hi!"? I'm really rather perplexed
Town was really rather lovely today...TG my organisational skills held out alright-ish...although we got attcked by junkies with sticks...and lost larger portions of our group numerous times...AH WELL.
Darlings, the sun shone, the sky had unburdened itself from clouds, the air was strung with laughter and hugs were plentiful. Today was lovely. Although I could have done with a couple more hugs...
My head was pounding earlier, I was probably dehydrated or somthing silly...trust me for something silly it's practically my reason for being :S I ended up taking 3 paracetamol and it's still not gone away. Don't worry, i know about the safety of dosage and all that jazz.
ha, you think you know me because you might read this blog. you don't have a clue.
DollyDot signing out.
Peace and love
p.s Many great thanks to the Catcher in the Rycroft for his blog post of ealier as my dashboard has been really rather vacant of late.
FACE THE SHAME...FACE IT AND EMBRACE IT!!
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
2. People who don't shut their mouthes when they're eating
3. The noise of teeth being brushed.
4. When amazing people won't accept compliments.
6. Hugging someone and not being hugged back.
7. Impulses...today I wanted to kiss someone on the cheek...not because I fancy them; i was wearing red lipstick and thought it would be funny to leave a lip print on them...xD I didn't though!!
8. Hypocrisy *i've probably spelt that wrong and yes, ftr I'm well aware that I can be pretty hypocritical sometimes.*
9.Lies. I've told too many and they always cause problems.
10. When someone tells me that they'll do something when they have no real intention to.
11. Forgetting the good things.
13. Being so darn anxious.
14. Being so gosh darn superstitious.
17. Change...I know it can be good but so much happens in such a short amount of time that sometimes it worries me.
18. Not seeing my friends.
19. That I feel too shy to tell people what I think.
20. When boys never seem to say what they mean.
I could say more but 20 is enough and if I go on and on, I may end up getting myself down...*oh joy. oh rapture.*
Town today was great. Charlotte, Danielle, Elin, Matt and I had such a lovely time! 'twas Matt's birthday and Elin and I bought him a joint gift of penis pasta from Hawkins Bazaar xD It was my first time meeting Danielle and Charlotte and they're so sweet! I always get really nervous around new people but they were great. yeah, today was good.
DollyDot signing out.
Peace and love
p.s I have some vague recollection of someone telling me that something's happening on 23rd August but I can't remember whether that someone was a he or a she or what the something which he/she mentioned was. This is really annoying me. help please???
Monday, 17 August 2009
JOKING! He's still lovely even though he can indeed bug the heck outta me at times xD
Anyways, I bought him some chocolate and a gorrilla marrionette puppet, he had fun making it dance...on my head >:[ ...xD 'twas a laugh. Ange bought him a metal match *very cool camping accessory to bring out the arsonist within Martin!* and a couple of finger puppets and something very cool called a Resurrection plant. It's all brown and curled up in the box but when dropped in water, it begins to unfurl and turn green and it continues to do this over and over again if and when it dries up. very cool.
Martin had a great birthday. The cake was goooooooooood. ja ja ja.
I've just finished my 3 hour shift at Marie Curie; most enjoyable. Busy but now I feel as though I've accomplished summat :D I sorted out the book display and dusted the shelf. I polished some silver jewelerry to put into the display case. I made sure that all of the rails were lovely and tidy and helped the customers. I like to think I did rather a good job of helping them. We had loads of donations and many, many customers so the till was pretty busy but it was enjoyable nonetheless.
I bought a cowrie shell for my older brother Ange since they're his fave type of shell...random acts of kindness are ever so lovely :) We call them mouth shell's because that's what they look like :) we always scower the beach for them.
I'm still reading Shopaholic and Sister and I seriously have to admit that the protagonist Becky is annoying!! I'm enjoying the book and it's very well written but depite being in money problems and having her husband Luke kindly warn her about such issues, she continues to waste money on things that she'll never use. She bought a waffle iron and she can't make the mixture for them so she just buys shop bought ones and used the iron to heat them up -_-'!! gosh darn it, she's annoying. Luke and Becky have been married for under a year and she's already driving him hay-wire! *and breathe*
Looking forward to tomorrow and Wednesday; shall be good fun.
Omgosh, Tommy came home from London the day before yesterday and found the note that we left for him in a flower pot...:D I laughed a LOT on the phone...and then bad-mouthed his answer machine xD mwahahaha...I'm lovely.
Marriage Consummation....:O kawk
DollyDot signing out.
Peace and love
Sunday, 16 August 2009
...that was boring, I don't like my preppy american highschool girl voice...'tis really, really, rather annoying...
Anyhooooooooooooooooo, I slept in a bed with two gorgeous girls last night *oo-er*. ElinimoomundootocomSqueechTheGodOfCapriSun *every time I type your nickname, I die a little inside...*, Hattiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and I had a sleepover at chez Elin last night and we all managed to squidge into thedouble fold out bed...it was comfy but reeeeeeeeeaaaaaally boiling hot o.O My body clock is screaming at me, "love me, praise me, shower me in attention" since the neglect I've inflicted upon it of late. I fell asleep for about an hour some where between 2 and 4 in the morning when watching a film but then I stayed awake munching on pringles and cake and absolute junk until about 7am or later playing on the Sims...my character's pregnant with her husband, Dick Gumshoe's baby :o
Before then, we went for a wander around the village...dw...this was at about 7pm ish *we not eejits*
Omgosh, barbeque pringle, chocolate ice-cream, rocket, salt'n'vinegar pringle...TRY IT!!
We sat at the edge of the pond...it looked gross and although the woods were a little creepy looking *silent, empty, darkening* The sky was beautiful, pink and peach and vibrant orange, purple, indigo, lilac, voilet.
OOooooooh, you must, must, must try noshing on egged fried rice at 6.30am at least once in your life...promise!! Uncle Ben is now my favourite uncle...xD
We watched One Missed Call...the original Japanese version, it was very well made which wasn't surprising as the Japanese just know how to make scary films! I spent a lot of it cowering behind a cushion or with hands aross my face and one eye peeping at the TV. That ringtone in the film...dang I want it! However, the ending was poor. It's one of those, "come to your own conclusion" kinda films which can be very effective under the right circumstances. I just feel that there were too many questioins left unanswered...too many, "what about the-" kinda questions for my liking. Overall I give this film a 7 out of ten. definitely worth watching so as you can make you own mind up on it.
Then we watched Aquamarine a lovely film about a mermaid and love and friendship and a good-looking lifeguard. I feel asleep in the middle off this one :S However, darling Elin's lending it to me so as I can finish watching it and I look forward to it. It's one of those girly kinda flicks that reminds me of being little and there's nothing bad about that :)
Then we did some yoga...for about a minute...*who the heck does yoga, following an instructor on TV, between 2am and 4am?!...apart from us...*
We also watched SpongeBob SquarePants...BEST THING EVER! I've told a couple friends before that if he wasn't a sponge, I'd marry him xD
...maybe not but it's a silly little ditty...a guilty pleasure :)
MWAHAHAHA gummy bear sex, i dare you to look it up on youtube, one of the funniest videos you'll ever watch in your life xD!! love it!
We sort of wrote a note to Tommy and posted it to him but let's not go there, you don't wanna know what Elin and Hattie had to say about Tommy and his...er...thing xD kidding, kidding!!
we didn't write anything bad but it was on the back of a receipt in eyeline...oh yes, never let it go untold that us girls are a creative bunch!
Dearest Caroline was greatly missed from such proceedings but that lucky beggars over in China so she can't really go complaining. Although, she must be aware that if she fails to bring me a newspaper then I will HUNT HER DOWN. Kidding!! obviously...
Knowing my senile mind, I'll have forgotten many, many things but I've been writing for aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeesssss, *slow typer* and I'm alittle tired :O
DollyDot signing out.
Peace and love
p.s 'tis Martini's B'day today!! It's goooooooood, I'll write more tomorrow but yeah, life is dulcé! That's Spanish for, "sweet".
p.p.s If my Sims character has boy twins then they're gonna be called Benjamin and Charles. lovely :)
p.p.p.s I fell off a swing yesterday!! i hurt my little finger :(!! still happy happy though :D
p.p.p.p.s HOT DIGGIDY DAMN THAT'S FAST!
Friday, 14 August 2009
Just thought you should know.
Mine darling dearest, fair God of Hot (!!!)hath landed :D
I have news from him and all is well within the land of I.
Monday morning promises yawns a plenty as I shall be arising from Slumber early enough for my 10am shift up at the Marie Curie cancer care charity shop, the manageress, Gill, is going to be working with me so it shall be very good to catch up with her. I also hope to do a shift with Elizabeth at some point as this would also be very lovely.
Sunday brings forth the teenager within my little brother, Martin, as he celebrates his 13th b'day :D...i still need to buy his present :S I know what I'm getting *i'm not that thoughtless!*.
And Tuesday is Matty Matty Matt's birhday *hazaar* so I shall be seeing him for the first time in almost a month!
Anyways, my talents are currently in need so I'm afraid we must depart.
Peace and love
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Good good. Unless you're not not feeling good...that's a shame, i'm sorry. BTW, have you ever given a listen to Muse's cover of Feeling Good? I'm a big Nina Simone fan so I was kinda annoyed that they did a cover of it but I have to admit, it's really grown on me and I now love that they tried something new with it rather than the predictable soul/jazzy kinda cover that bunches of people have tried. I also like Michael Bublé's cover but that probably doesn't make me sound as cool...
Anyways, Martin had an appointment at the Royal Surrey County Hospital with Dr. Obi and Dr. Sinha about his development and especially the impact that his growth is having on this kidneys. He needs to drink more water in order ot help to flush the toxins out of his body without causing his kidneys too much stress. Anyways, despite the fact that he's hurtling down the pubescent landslide *oh joy, oh rapture -_0!* his kidneys are working fairly stably. They've increased his dosage of the Onealpha Calcadol *calcium supplement...probably spely wrong* and they're considering giving him some kind of medication to bind the phorsphates together so as they can be flushed out easier. This may mean that they have to fiddle about with his Epilim *medication to prevent an epileptic fit* but other than that, he'd doing gooooood! :D
At about 4pm yesterday, mine matey mate dearest, Miss ElinimoomundootocomSqueechTheGodOfCapriSun *I hate your nickname* stopped by at my humble shack xD She stayed the night *oo-er* and 'twas a laugh. We didn't actually end up getting to sleep until 6am. Far better than my pathetic midnight last sleepover!! We had jammy bread and Elin cut the bread in her special signature way! She read my diary from when I was...7 (!) and it was very embarrassing :S Anyways, I'm lending her some CDs and she thinks that she's lending me her jacket but in actual fact, she will never be seeing it again...mwahahaha!
PENIS PASTA!! oh yes.
Peace and love babes
p.s I am in a gooooooooooooooooooooood moooooooooooooooooooooooood :D
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
Chapter 6: Xx or not?!
I wake up. Every last idiotic notion of being mature and making my own decisions moshing in my head. I’m somewhere in London and I’ve spent the night in the apartment of a man whose last name I don’t know. Despite the mockingly blatant cliché, whilst bathed in the cold light of day (Jake had forgotten to draw the blinds the night before) I finally became aware that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Desperate to regain some sense of familiarity in this abstract new position, I fumbled through my rucksack for my sunflower seeds. I knew that I had to try and make them last because my money was already dwindling and I still hadn’t come any closer to deciding whether or not I’d be going home any time soon. Shoving a handful of the huge Greek sunflowers into my mouth, I closed my eyes and for the first time since waking, I let myself relax, but not for long. I can already hear Jake thumping around upstairs; he’ll be coming down soon. Hurriedly, I swallow the last bit of sunflower seed pulp in my mouth and stuff the rest of the bag back into the section of my rucksack in which they’ve been keeping my dairy company. My diary. I’ve been neglecting it recently, I shall have to shed some more light on Jake at some point but as for now, my priorities take a different form. Onto the page which I’ve just torn from my diary, I scrawl my mobile number followed by, “Thank you, call me. Xx” I wasn’t sure whether the x’s were appropriate, wasn’t this the kind of message reminiscent of a one night stand?! I puzzled but then remembered that I had to get going. I scraped back my unruly hair in a half-decent ponytail, all the time wishing that I’d had the foresight to have tied it back the night before to spare me from the frizz which was now attacking. My battered converse, once again greeted the soft cotton of my lucky socks and as they did so, I wondered to myself, were lucky socks as efficient when they hadn’t been washed in a couple of day?
The shut Jake’s front door behind me as softly as I could. The bang which emitted from the door being shut was enough to send the pigeons spying on me from their perched in the sycamore not far from Jake’s house flying off at a high speed, no doubt home to their loved ones to gossip about Jake’s lady friend. Great. I could practically see their tiny beaks working a mile a minute...
“You know, Jake, Jake, he lives opposite us.”
“Oh him, what about him?”
“He’s got himself a new lady in his life?”
“Ooh, has he now?”
“Yes he has now!”
“Ooh-er indeed. She even spent the night.”
“Well I never-“
Was I going mad? Imagining pigeons having a good natter about you, Joey? You’re bonkers. I narrow my eyes at the one remaining pigeon, determined not to admit defeat...from a pigeon and then I get going. Holding tightly onto the straps of my rucksack; I head off out. To where, I’m not exactly certain so for good measure, I take a good look around, absorbing as much as I could remember about Jake’s place in case I ever found good reason to return. The terraced houses, identical gardens , (I say gardens, perhaps “yards” would be more fitting) the massive sycamore, the pigeons.
Although I’d been thinking of myself as ever so grown up only minutes ago, I realised that upon reaching the end of the street I was really rather hungry. Maybe I’d have been more grown up to have stayed for breakfast. However, remembering the lack of money left in my pocket, I force my hunger away and strive onwards.
If I’m going to make a real something of myself here in London, I’m really going to have to make some kind of income. At this I remember the horror stories I’d heard upon the news about young girls, not unlike myself, forced into prostitution just to stop them from going hungry. It made me feel sick. What some people are made to go through in this life. Innocent people suffering from the cruelty of others.
I was never a princess so I gave up on the hope of a fairytale a long time ago but only now could I really comprehend what a horrid reality ours is.
this is a short one but I hope you've liked it :)
Peace and love
I was dragged from deep slumber with news of a venture to Godalming. So clad in the first clothes to hand, grabbing the biggest bag I could find and scraping a brish through my tangleds mop I prepared for an excursion into the outside world. I chomped on weetabix then brushed my teeth before making one final loo trip before we headed for the car.
I bought, "Shopaholic and Sister" which I have to read before I can read, "Shopaholic and Baby"!! I have the complete series now, *smug*
My love for monkeys verges on an obsession when it comes to the teeny ty ones that came out a little while ago. I've searched many toy shops and have failed to find them ins tock so i have been forced to search high and low, near and far, in every charity shop and car boot sale I can find for such creatures. I bought another one today taking my total to 13!! He cost 49p and I'm really rather pleased with him! Whilst some of my other monkeys have rather pudgey hands, this one has really well defined thumbs so it sort of looks as though he's also doing the thumbs up thing...so I called him Happy.
*this entire entry makes me sound really quite sad, doesn't it?*
Anyways, I've had a good day and guess what? Minky turned 8 yesterday!! :D
Peace and love
p.s I can't believe I've had no comments on yesterday's post...*shocked and appalled*
p.p.s Above is a pic of Minky with some of her Monkey pals...these are the ones I collect because they're gorgeous :D
Monday, 10 August 2009
For those of you who aren't aware, Liam played Klaus Baudelaire in A series of unfortunate events. He also appeared in Stepmom when he was very little and according to Wikipedia he's made numerous appearances in both film and television since. In 2002 he lived my dream by acting in a film alongside Tom Hanks in Road to Perdition. Anyways, everyone who knows Robert must agree that they look pretty similar. Well, Robert looks how Liam used to because Liam's now 19 years old, however, I have an interesting theory in which Robert will grow up to look like Liam...but i hope he doesn't get his hair cut like Liam did. Big mistake. Huge. Enormous. Massive mistake.
Anyhooooooooo, here's a piccie of Liam Aiken when he was 14:
I haven't got a piccie of Robert to compare but there we go.
I thought I'd share that with you because I'm generous. And amazing. Okay, I'm sorry, not amazing but all right...ish.
Peace and Love
The shouts and the screams. The tears. Those words. How can so much hurt come from just words?
I forgive but I can't forget.
I'll be your carer and I'll make sure you do nothing stupid but it hurts. At 2am when you're screaming. With a knife in your hand and pills on the counter.
I forgive but I can't forget.
Lord, if you're really real, please help me to forget.
Peace and love
Saturday, 8 August 2009
At noon, I journeyed (?) to the theatre to watch a little play that some of my matey mates were in as the culmination of their week-long course, learning about backstage theatre work :D
I really enjoyed the piece as it was cleverly written and really rather funny AND starred some of my besty mates :D
oooooh, before I forget, I must hasten to add that it also starred someone who i've not seen in five (?! five?!) years! She used to be my bast friend and she's a great actress :D
Then I met Tommy's folks and lil jimmy and will and Harvey's folks and his little sister. Tommy's mam then gave me a tour of the theatre *very kind!* and then I went to wait for them to be released with Harvery's family.
Tommy and I then went into town together, we sat up in the food court for a tidbit and then going down he actually told somebody to call him the admiral *!!* O.o Then we trundle-wundled up to Stoke park where we stayed for the remainder of the day. We lied chatting in the grass for hours and hours and then Tommy asked me what the time was and to my horror, I discovered that I had 20 minutes to get home. I feared the worst. Grounded until the end of humanity. But I RAN. I hate running but I did it, I RAN home. So, with sweat glistening on my beetroot red face, weezing like a 50 year old smoker, I returned home with a minute to spare!! It was like something from Indiana Jones I swear it...well maybe not but it seemed pretty cool to me :D I had an awesome day and never got told off...*yay*
One teeny iota of crap...I haven't heard anything more about THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE which can only mean one thing, he fricking hates me to high heaven o.O *i don't quite comprehend what the, "to high heaven" thing means but it's the simplest of things to understand that he hates me and what makes it worse is that i kinda don't blame him. For those of you who don't know, I accidentally said something sick to the God of Hot on facebook and so now i'm wishing I had a time machine or that I could call upon Jesus for some kinda miracle...
his forgiveness would mean a lot. at least he doesn't read this thing...that would probably make things worse...it might embarrass him if he knew that I addressed him as the god of hot...
A girl can hope...
DollyDot signing out.
Peace and love
p.s If you're internet ever fully recovers from its illness then Tommy, I hope you can read this. Thanks for today, it was so lovely.
Friday, 7 August 2009
But you don't understand, it's already falling, the words that you're crying; they barely exist. *I'm desperate*
Argue and we're gone. We can get through. Just hold my hand. Do not let me go.
Even in this midst of angst and outrage and furious guilt, you say; nay, INSIST upon you're truth being just that. The truth.
Can you not hear that? Tell me you are just angry. The screams. The rips. Injected is silence. Bleak as Winter. Cold and merciless. And still you question?
You lie. There is nothing. Nothing to hold onto. Nothing worth clinging to. Nothing.
You have to. Forget the rest. Now is what matters. They will come and take you away if you do not close you mouth and hold on.
To WHAT? What are you talking about? Who will come? There is no one. It is gone.
Shut up. Just shut up. *i almost lose my nerve but in a place like this, that would be suicide- just keep breathing*It's here and we can fix it. Everything can be made better. We still have time.
I have spent far too much of said time, looking after you. Let go of me. *My voice is raised and I keep it there.*
They are coming. They are coming. They heard you and they are coming*Before I can stop myself, I've thrown a fist towards him*
"Joe?" I call gingerly as I step into his room. I know that it has happened. It has happened again. "Joe?"
The smashed mirror, the twisted terror on Joe's distorted face.
"Mum?" He comes to, a lost look in his tear-filled eyes that shakes me. He looks like a small boy again. I take steps closer towards him, he flinches and it stabs me like a dagger. "Joe. I'm here now, we're at home, just you and me."
Joe unclenches his fists, only then do I realise that there is blood on the torn knuckles of his right hand. He stares around the room, clocking the broken mirror, "It wasn't me Mum. It wasn't-"
"I know dear. Shhh, shhh." I hold him in my arms and soothe him as his whole body shudders as he cries.
"Sorry Mum. I am so sorry."
"Shh Joe, it doesn't matter, shhh."
They told me he would be okay now. They told me that he was better
Well, that was a bit different, eh? Thought I'd put my mind to use today and write you guys a little summat summat :) I hope you like it.
DollyDot signing out.
Peace and love
Thursday, 6 August 2009
I've spent pretty much all day buying stationery for school *yay*...believe it or not; that was actually sincere, I love buying stationery, it clears my head...
And then I read some more of, "rachel's holiday" by marianne keyes. 'tis a very goood book :D and I like it very much soooooooo :D The main character Rachel has been sent to a treatment centre for addictions by her parents but still remains in denial over the truth about her cocaine habit. That teeny synopsis makes it sound rather heavy but it's really not. Some parts have been kind of upsetting but the narrative is generally in fairly good humour and despite it's daunting length, I'm enjoying working my way through this book :D
Peace and love
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Right. Daniel stopped following me. He's not very nice. I shall be having words with him. And many of them too!! mwahahahaha
Today was nice. urgh, "nice" is such a blasé word, wouldn't you agree??! It was lovely, really rather spiffing actually!
DollyDot signing out
Peace and love
Monday, 3 August 2009
May I ask a favour?
I have yet to find how to set up polls...could someone please help me? 'twould be much appreciated :D
hmmmmmnnn, not got a lot to write about right now...it's 1.40 in the afternoon and I haven't done a lot yet. I've eaten and tidied and read and eaten some more. Fun. I'm painting with oil paints atm but they take forever to dry so I can't add any more colours yet. And there are a lot of colours I want to add so this could take a while... perhaps more than 4 weeks...oh dear.
For those of you who care, it's 54 days until my birthday, is it wrong that at my age I still get reeeeaaaally excited about my birthday? and for the record, i will be expecting presents. nah, don't worry, i'm kidding but a quick, "happy birthday" would make me smile :D
DollyDot signing out
Peace and love
p.s My parents really know how to get on my last nerve sometimes...grrrrrrr. ah well. i'm over it. I've had a good two hours of escapist reading...
Sunday, 2 August 2009
Town was sooooo great today :D i loved loved loved it! i haven't seen my matey mates in far too long so hugging them and giggling with them today was so good. I actually laughed and smiled so much today that my jaw aches a little...xD So, as per the usual, I was late to town, despite living closest to it, however, 'twas grand! I met up with *deep breath*, Simon, Richard, Tommy, Jacob, Sam, Jeremy, Elin and Caroline. *and exhale, very good everyone*
'twas my first encounter with Sam today but yup he's pretty alright!! he's a decent kinda bloke and I likes him :D
We trundle wundled around pretty aimlessly but it was marvelous to just absorb the happy atmosphere of my friends so I didn't really care where we ended up.
...Tommy's jacket is enormous and smells like him; just though I'd share that with you because i'm generous...
For anyone who has yet to read it, you must head over to the blog of one Master W. L. of P. as it's simply wonderous...I'm now good at doing links so I'm just gonna copy and paste the url....
and thar we harv it, donchar know?!!
hmmmmm, I shall trundle wundle my way up to Marie Curie tomorrow and ask Gill whether she's in need of my asssistance any time soon :D I volunteer there some weekends and in the holidays, 'tis grand!
Peace and love
Saturday, 1 August 2009
In less than two hours, I fear that I shall be commencing upon a masseeeeeeve drive home. I don't exactly sufferfrom motion sickness but the stuffiness of seven HOURS in a car stuck in the middle seat in the back (everyone knows it's the worst seat!) makes me feel kinda ill and although I'm not really claustrophobic *sorry if i spelt that wrong* I don't like being in such a small place for so long.
I've downloaded a bunch of podcasts to help combat the inevitible boredom but still, SEVEN HOURS is a loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggg time :'(
Right I reckons that I've done enough complaining, don't want to cause you all to fall into a boredom induced coma or anything...
I'm really gonna miss my grandparents...shan't be seeing them again for another year :'(
oooooooooh, I forget to mention this to y'all yesterday but when we were alfresco lunching at Penrhos; I had a masseeeeeeeeeeve sandwich!! Seriously, it was a BIG sandwich! Two slaps of bread cemented together with chicken tika...mmmmmmmmmm...then we headed over to Four Mile Bridge, so called because it is four miles from Holyhead. I tried to appreciate it, honest I did but it was nasty all grey and dark and...miserable. I donned my tent-coat and tied the hood tight around my head so as I almost resembled a fifth teletubby. However, I was warm, toasty and dry within it so now I'm kinda fond of my tent-coat :D
Although I did so into the wrong side of midnight, I finally managed to get all of my crud packed up. I had a lot to pack but I did actually use everything at some point in the week so they were essentials. Besides, I'm a girl, 'tis my prerogative to pack far more than I need for a week...there's one sexist stereotype I can live with xD
Just for the record; Nick is a w**king d**kbrain f**k head and shall forever be known as such for what he did my lovely matey mate. Gosh darn him.
Another note for the record, The God of Hot shall forever reign supreme even in his abscence from BlogLand xD
PEACE AND LOVE
p.s. say, "white rabbits" three times before midday to bring you good luck for the rest of this new month!! Some may laugh at my odd superstitions but my family have done it forever and it seems to work so I have faith in it :D