Sunday, 7 December 2014

There are only ever two options

Give up


Press on.

Please, to whomever people ask these questions, please give me strength to push on. I feel heavy and things are so hard. Goodness knows how much I want to disappear, to be absorbed into something else and stop being Kaytei for a while.

I just want to fall asleep.

Peace and love

Saturday, 22 November 2014


Things have been really hard lately but I guess nothing worth while is easy.

It's ok, I have the support I need and I think I'm beginning to cope with stress in a healthier least I'm trying to!

Just deadlines are crazy. The lazy student stereotype hurts when I know it just isn't true.

But I have fantastic friends. I'm discovering yoga. I'm taking courses in mindfulness. I have George.

So nay sir, things aren't easy and sometimes they really aren't good but we press on because there are only ever two options:

1) Give up

2) Carry on

I know my choice.

Peace and love

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

I need your loving like the sunshine.

Beautiful George <3 :="" a="" and="" asleep="" beautiful="" brighton="" chips="" cuddles="" day.="" falling="" fish="" for="" front="" george="" had="" in="" it="" me="" nbsp="" never="" of="" on="" out="" p="" ran="" right="" say.="" sea="" the="" things="" to="" train.="" was="" we="" went="">You make me so so happy.

Peace and love

Friday, 11 July 2014

I met a boy

And suddenly I'm Meg Ryan in all of those classic rom-coms and the camera pans to sunset. Not quite sure when life decided to turn around for me but this is just...


His name is George.

George Guven (no middle name, like Peter Pan....Guven; he's half Turkish)

He was selling cake in uni and I was rushing and flustered and soggy from the rain and said maybe later. and I went back....kinda just to see him really. He was there with someone else...but i can't really remember anything about them. I asked what the bake sale was in aid of and he explained that they were the politics society and they'd inherited a lot of debt and idk, I just felt this connection, as though talking to him, this total randomer, was the most natural thing in the world. He really made an impression. I couldn't stop thinking about him. and his smile. wow. but i didn't even know his name!!!

....I stalked.

So he'd mentioned the the politics society and to be raising funds for them, surely he'd be on the commitee right?? and there he was, right on the facebook page!! AND THEN i found we had a mutual friend, so naturally I asked Matt about him and matt urged me to ask him i did.

I was so ready for that no. So so ready.

and then he said yes :3

and I've never ever been so happy :3 i just feel amazing around him. I feel so valued and god we click. he makes me giggle, really really giggle.

On our 6th date he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes!! and now just gone our 10th date i'm biting my tongue to not say that dreaded three words phrase. that l worrrrddddd keeps creeping up like I'm gonna yell it out!

We've been going out for 2 and a half weeks but I've barely known him 2 months...this is a real whirlwind and i hope it doesn't end anytime soon.

my beautiful george <3 p="">
Peace and love